To market, to market.

I did my first market stall since February this week.

Clarence told me I was crazy when I told him I still wanted to do it. He reminded me I would have a new baby and a toddler and that it was the week before Christmas. All fact. I hadn't done a market since February, when I was about six weeks pregnant. It was hot and I felt SOOOOO sick. I wondered if I would even make it through the morning. Then I just got sicker and I couldn't do any more. I kept up the business and taking orders through my Facebook page, which was welcome stimulation and a welcome distraction. I could muddle away in my own time and lie down when I felt too sick. It made me feel mildly capable and useful.

I like work. I like working. I like working hard in fact. I really missed that this year. That was possible one of the hardest parts of being chronically unwell. I could only work for 3-4 hours at a time and only a few times a fortnight, all office based. Thank goodness for a very flexible and kind boss allowing me to do that. I needed it though, even though it was only short bursts. I loved being in the office and seeing other adults and having adult conversations (I adore Milo, but how much can I talk about diggers??). I missed my capable self immensely when I was pregnant. I wondered if capable me would ever return. Thankfully I am my capable self again and gosh that feels good!

So yes, it was slightly crazy to do a market (a lot of preparation goes into holding a market stall), especially with Olive so young and week before Christmas, but I needed to. I need to end 2013 with strength and dignity. To date, 2013 has been the hardest year of my life. It was long and sad and difficult. Then in October my darling second ray of sunshine arrived and has already brought so much into our lives. I can't imagine our family without Olive in it. She has sass and spunk and enough of a tan for both of us!

The market wasn't about selling handmade baby goods. The market was about me kicking 2013 in the teeth. You sucked until October 2nd 2013, but then you became amazing. Clarence and I are so grateful for our lovely little people. I am grateful for my health, for my body recovering, for the friends and family God gave me that helped me/us get through and for my capable self making a return. I am happy to leave you behind, 2013.

2014 I am bringing my best friend Clarence and my lovely kids with me and we are going to have a blast.